Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
