Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
