Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
