Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
