remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
