Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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