dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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