we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
