Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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