Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
