you would pick up someone in the library
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
