this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize