is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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