I'm drive I can fine osifer
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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