I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize