I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
