On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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