what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
