I will die if light touches me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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