I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
