She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize