you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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