Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
