i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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