Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
