he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
