How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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