I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
