He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
