I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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