considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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