It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
