Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
