Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
