the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found puke in my bra..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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