dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Even my vagina gasped.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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