youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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