i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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