Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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