Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think i have two assholes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
