why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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