For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
