so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just pee around me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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