Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
