His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
