I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
