what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
