on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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