It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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