Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
