Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
