I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
