Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize