she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize