Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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