Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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