i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I need moral support for this bender
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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