just tell him i said nine months
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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