Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
