how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
